Anchor Leg Basin: I am a Genius by S.E. Hicks

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

I am a Genius by S.E. Hicks

I am a Genius
By S.E. Hicks

I have never been one to stand on ceremony nor am I a person who feels a need to comply with society's designated traditions. Valentine’s Day is no exception. Everyday is Valentine’s Day at my house. I love my wife like nobody’s business and it isn’t. I tell her every day that I love her, tell her that she is pretty too. I have done so everyday we have been married and I mean it. Sure, I complain about her but she is my everything and the absolute very best partner a slob like me could ever hope for.

Due to a tiny level of obligation but primarily due to the fact I am flat broke and wanted a burger, I took my wife out for dinner this past Valentines Day. I took her to Burger King and it only cost me thirteen bucks. There were no other customers in the place the entire time we ate. No crowd, no waiting and plenty of easy parking to chose from. I wonder why? We could talk without having to shout, enjoyed the few lights of State Avenue, made goo goo eyes at each other while we ate all we wanted. It was like being in high school all over again. I told my wife if she used her imagination, broke the onion rings in half and pretended the half ring was a shrimp we could act as if we were having a fancy shrimp cocktail. Ketchup and tired fryer grease helped pull it off. Oddly enough she was thrilled with the evening. I’m thinking of making it a tradition. Although, the wife is not in total agreement.

The best part for me was just being out with her, not another soul around us. No pesky waiters. No obnoxious guests, no hectic cajoling annoyances from society, just me and my gal. One other little side note. The wife did not feel …obligated, if you know what I mean. So I didn’t have to put in another couple hours of labor late into the night. Just came home, ate a few chocolate truffles and went to our separate corners to sleep. You see after thirty years of marriage, a roll in the hay is better performed on a Saturday night. That is assuming of course I got the energy. Generally speaking, it just too much work. I am…… a genius.

After informing one of my good friends of my minor acheivement, he told me how he handled the holiday with his wife. He told me he heated up some instant pasta poured some canned pasta sauce on it, left it on the counter and went to bed before his wife came home from work. He said it only cost three bucks and he didn't have to go anywhere. I have in fact been humbled by the master.

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"Bullet Joe." My favorite player of all time.

Professional baseball was Bullet Rogan's second career. As a young man he had intended to make military service his life's work, and in 1911 he began a decade long stint in the U.S. Army. During this period both his interest in baseball and his skills on the diamond steadily grew as he organized and played on camp baseball teams while stationed in the Phillipines, Hawaii and Arizona. Leaving his military career behind Rogan joined Wilkinson's Kansas City Monarchs in 1920, the inaugural season of the Negro National League. From the onset of his baseball career it appeared that there was nothing that he could not do, and do well. His blazing fastball and widely varied arsenal of breaking pitches quickly made him the ace of the Monarchs' staff. His quick bat and power made him an invaluable hitter in the lineup³so much so that he remained in the lineup as an outfielder when he wasnêt on the mound. And, what's more, he was durable. Only seldomly did he miss a pitching assignment, and only seldomly did he leave the game until the last man was out. During the first Negro League World Series in 1924 Rogan posted three complete games and made a relief appearance in yet another game.Rogan's career in Kansas City continued until 1937, a total of 17 years in a Monarchs uniform as a player and a manager. When the time came to hang up the spikes he traded his fielder's glove for a umpire's chest protector and continued in baseball as an umpire in the Negro American League. Rogan was elected to the National Baseball Hall Of Fame in 1998.

There are those that won't

To tell you the truth, having stumbled through life pursuing a diverse career path, I intially became a fairly good track and field coach. I had some successes discovering a future Gold Medalist, winning a few championships, rewriting school records where ever I coached and receiving a coach of the year accolade here and there, I just could not make enough money at it to send three boys to catholic school. I sought riches elsewhere. Bumbling around with one money making scheme or another I have propeled myself onward. Working as a high end personal trainer with a low overhead personality offered me the most satifaction. I was able to help countless individuals achieve their fitness dreams. Alas injury raised its ugly head and I got fat. Fat and tired of working in a 1200 square foot fitness studio for 18 years, sixteen hours a day six days a week, I quit myself and started a then one man construction company owner of sorts. Thanks to the economy I am off on another tangent. I have now settled into a state of semi retired activity, dead flat broke and up to my neck in financial issues. Nonetheless, I am undaunted, intending to make a buck with the other half of my brain. I intend to write.

I'll be right with you.

Having just started this new venture as a budding author, I have spent the last year or so compiling a small collection of unpublished literary work. The first effort is a children’s book for, I would guess, advanced first graders, titled “ Charlie the Hat.” The story is about a hat I found hanging on a tree limb along a stream in the Ozark Mountains. Now when you spend a number of hours driving construction equipment one’s mind starts to wonder. I could not for the life of me quit thinking about that stupid hat and how it could have ended up hanging in that tree. So I made up a story about it. You will love it.

Your kidding me, right.

The next work is a novel titled “Common Vengeance, ”Set in the 1850's, the story is about an regionally linked group of residents living in the Portuguese held Congo. This group of heroes motivated by reasons of their own, set off on a voyage across the Atlantic in an effort to return the pregnant princess of the Teke people, whom was stolen by a slaver/pirate, Ike Mac Greggor and then subsquently stolen by a rogue Portuguese Admiral. As the story unfolds, a first generation undercover United States treasury agent, Angus Logan is drawn into the rescue mission by happenstance. Logan, along with a Missionary and his wife, a inept merchant ship Captain who was a victim of piracy, all join forces with the great Teke warrior Matumba, to exact vengeance and rescue the princess and would be King nestled in her womb. Major Dunstien, the founder of Dunstein’s harbor, a small harbor on the west coast of the Congo that was ransacked by the rogue Portuguese Admiral, also joins the rescue party as his entire world has been destroyed. The Admiral is hell bent on establishing, through annexation, a country of his own in South America. Through the use of slavery and using proceeds from a pirated U.S. twenty dollar coin press, he is minting counterfeit gold coins in an effort to build his empire. The Admiral well on his way to acheiving his goals has his dreams destoyed by the crew of the Isabella. It is a swashbuckling tale with non-stop action, drama and pitched battles. Complete with forbidden love and laced with international intrigue, “Common Vengeance” is a must read. Look for it this spring.

Just hold on!

A third work is a very unique presentation of short stories told about and written through a fictional persona. “The Incomplete Works of Fletcher ‘Butchwax’ Ferguson” is a compilation of maybe real life events that the author may or may not have experienced. Some bits are humorous, some are gut wrenching, other tales amazing or just down right unbelievable but true, sort of. Mostly, the stories are entertaining and give insight into a not so normal existence. Experienced over half a life time, the stories surrounding the life and times of Fletcher “Butchwax Ferguson“ depict a truly unique character. What will Butchwax tell you next. Can’t wait to find out? Look for it this spring.

Now where did that goat disappear to?

The fourth is a work in progress. It is a novel, set in the early 1500's Elizabethan England. The title is “From Derbyshire And Back.” It has as a premise, an effort on the part of a nobleman’s grand nephew to sail to the just discovered new world for the sole purpose of being the very first civilized man to hunt the great beasts of North America. Some of the last remaining post ice age mammals are discovered, offering a great adventure. I hope I have it ready for this literary career kick off this coming spring. If you would like to get a peek check out "Runcorn Gap."

The Bull that made America great.

You have noticed that everything as Indian does is in a circle, and that is because the Power of the World always works in circles, and everything tries to be round..... The Sky is round, and I have heard that the earth is round like a ball, and so are all the stars. The wind, in its greatest power, whirls. Birds make their nest in circles, for theirs is the same religion as ours....Even the seasons form a great circle in their changing, and always come back again to where they were. The life of a man is a circle from childhood to childhood, and so it is in everything where power moves. Black Elk Oglala Sioux Holy Man

Now where did I put it?

A father and son went hunting together for the first time.The father said "Stay here and be very QUIET. I’ll be across the field."A few minutes later, the father heard a blood curdling scream and ran back to his son.What’s wrong?" the father asked. "I told you to be quiet."The son answered" "Look, I was quiet when the snake slithered across my feet. I was quiet when the bear breathed down my neck."But when the two squirrels crawled up my pant legs and said, should we eat them here or take them with us?""I guess I just panicked"."

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

I am a Genius by S.E. Hicks

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