Friday, November 16, 2012

Spud Gun Follies


Terms of Potato Gunnery and Ballistics
Written by Fletcher “Butchwax” Ferguson

It seems only appropriate that the definition of terms used for Potato Gunnery be written down simply to enhance communication. It should be agreed upon that all such terms listed are in fact open to consternation and further review.


Other names of the Potato Gun: Side Order Arm, Lunch Launcher, Spud Gun, Tater Tosser, Tuber Cannon, Root Rifle, Irish Whistle, Idaho Bazooka, RPG (red potato gun), Yukon Loader and of course the Russet Rocket.

Terms listed are not in alphabetical order.

Spud slug: Term used to describe a chambered potato.

Spent tot: Term used to describe a spent spud slug.

Wig burner: Term used to describe the aftermath of a spent tot when too much propellant was used.

Fried potatoes: A collection of spent tots that missed the target.

Hash: The remains of a properly loaded spud slug.

Chive: Bits of spud slug remaining in the barrel after a potato gun was fired.

Tater cheese: A gummy substance found in the barrel or chamber of a spud gun after it has been shot.

Fixings: All the necessary parts needed to make a potato gun.

Sliced potato: Term used to describe the trajectory of a propelled spud slug that misses the target.

Spam: Term used to describe proper spud gun etiquette.

Potato Au Gratin. Term used to describe rotting, stinky, spent tots.

Seed potato: A potato to small for the chamber.

Butter: Lubricant for the spud gun.

Dinner plate: The center of a target shot with spud gun.

Potato bar: The ram rod used to load a spud gun.

Twice baked: A term used to describe a loaded spud gun that has required more than one effort to fire.

Waiter: The guy next in line to shoot a spud gun.

Chef: The guy that applies the propellant.

Potato eyes: Witnesses to a fired spud slug.

Potato skins: Guys that shoot spud guns.

Yam: The title given to the eldest most experienced member of a spudroon.

Your skin: A phrase used to announce the turn of a second spud shooter.

Mashed potato: A term used to describe a failed attempt to load a spud into a spud gun.

Dauphinoise: French term describing an unexpected result of a potato gun misfire.

Gunny sack: The scrotum of a spud gun shooter.

Launch box: The gas holding chamber of a spud gun.

Sparking: Firing a spud gun

Sparky: The name of a spud gun trigger.

Diced potato: The term used to describe a spud slug that falls apart in flight.

Curly fly: Term used to describe the trajectory of a spent spud slug that follows a knuckle ball like
               pattern.

Cooking: The short period of time necessary for propellant expansion just prior to sparking.

Menu prep: Term used to describe the patterning of a spud gun.

Spud range: The direction or place where a spud gun is fired.

Boiled potato: A spud slug fired at a fish that misses the target.

Bus boy: A guy who thinks it necessary to find, pick up and retrieve a spent tot.

Potato bruise: A mark left on a unintended target.

Harvest time: A time set for a spud gunning outing.

New potato: A first time spud gunner.

Left overs: Any undamaged part of a target.

Potato bin: Afro-American phrase i.e. “ That potato bin in the air a long time.”

Spud blight: A term used to describe the situation when the shooting of the potato gun has to stop do to
                  a lack of ammo. (the term “86” is sometimes used in these circumstances.)

Candied yam: Refers to a gay spud gunner

Spudroon: A spud gunning team.

French fingerling: An unusually shaped potato set aside for use in the bedroom.

Spud roast: A term used to describe a conversation about historical spud gunning events.

Peruvian: A term used to describe the act of firing a spud slug so far in a southerly direction the bus boy
               can't find it.

Caramelized potato: A term used to describe the result of firing a spud at close range into a mud bank
                               resulting in great splatter.

Spud runner: A term describing a person who illegally uses, sells, or transports a spud gun. i.e. the use of a spud gun in a game of Polish Frisbee.

Sweet potato: A term used to describe the the result of a perfect long distance spud slug shot that
                      knocks over an obnoxious little kid ridding a tricycle.

Harpooning: A term that describes the act of using a spud gun under water for the purpose of culling
                    commercially tank raised fish that have been affected by high levels of ammonia.

Spuddering: A scientific term used to describe the process used by the chef when applying propellant
                   into the launch box.

Potato wedge: The intense training program offered to all new would be spud gunners that covers all
                       aspects of spud gunning and spam.

Kerpluncking: The acting of using a spud gun to take fish while riding in a moving boat.

Dehydrated potato: A spud gunner in need of another beer.

Instant potato: A term used to describe an impromptu spud gun challenge.

Whipped potato: The loser of a instant potato.

Tater tube: The barrel of a spud gun.

Tater cloth: A rag used in spud gunnery to swab the launch box and the tater tube.

Tall potato: A blatant out and out lie about a spud gunning achievement.

Graffiti: The result of hitting a moving train with a spud slug.


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